Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just want to make out with him forever
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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