the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
