does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
