i already hear my dad disowning me
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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