david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
