Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm just crazy horny about you
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
