4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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