Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
