Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
