Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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