That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
