I must be too annoying 4 u.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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