god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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