Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
