My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
