Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
