It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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