summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
