I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
