wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize