I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
