I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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