I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Quick, to the slutcave!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
