I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Randomize
