i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
