i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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