So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
