Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
