After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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