The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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