Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
