office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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