its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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