How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Someone came in the potted fern
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
