If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize