Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize