This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
