4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
