garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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