i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
