me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
