i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
