words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
is it fun? or sober?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
