They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
