im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize