I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize