HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize