pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize