yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
