Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize