That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
