My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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