I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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