shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
