you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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