Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
