I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
