It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
