I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
