Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
