she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
