The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
